A Reflection

Some of you are probably going hate this, but I feel it’s important to share my experience so you know where I’m coming from.

1. My Labor and Delivery Was Easy

Let me start by saying that my labor and delivery were incredibly smooth. It all began at 6 PM while I was at a football game. By 9:30 PM, I was enjoying some ice cream. Come midnight, I found myself unable to sleep so at 2 AM, I took a rather challenging walk to get my cat back inside, before we left for the hopital at 3:30am where I was admitted at 5:30 AM, into labor and delivery. The epidural was in by 7:30 AM, and I managed to squeeze in a quick nap from 8 to 9 AM. Then, just like that, I pushed out my baby between 11 and 11:20 AM. And yes, I accidentally peed on the floor at 11:50 AM because I laughed too hard at a joke my dad said…”shout out dad jokes”

I share this not to boast, but to acknowledge that not every birth experience us traumatic. Among the many mothers who faced traumatic deliveries, emergency C-sections, multiple “tools”, preeclampsia or birth complications, there are also the mothers who experienced none. I also know mothers who had seamless home births, and free births, perhaps with just a bit of vomiting. In the old days 1 in 10 woman would die! So honesltly, it is a pretty high probablility of complication, but also the possibility of ease!!

2. My Postpartum Experience Was Fun

My mom encouraged me to live with her for the first few months, and I’m so grateful for that. Having her around meant I could ask questions, get help with dinner, or even have her hold the baby while I took a shower. We made frequent trips back to Seattle though for some time just to ourselves our little studio, sometimes for 2 weeks at a time. Honestly, I loved both experiences, when I was in Seattle that felt easier… and when I was at my moms house that felt easier…
Driving back and forth every other week was a hassle, but it was worth it.

I was also lucky to have a circle of friends nearby moms house (in my childhood town), which meant coffee dates, lake days, happy hours, and movie nights filled my weekends starting just two weeks postpartum.

I know, however, that some moms struggle to connect with their babies. There are moms who feel isolated from friends and family, and some who battle postpartum depression, which is a very real and serious issue. Hormones are no joke!

3. My Breastfeeding Journey Felt Nearly Seamless

Breastfeeding was relatively easy for me. My baby latched almost immediately, and while I endured a week of painful, bloody nipples, I was fortunate to avoid severe mastitis or any other complications. My little one also took a bottle when needed, which made things easier to go out. We introduced the bottle at 2 weeks old, and used it occationally forever after until about 18 months. I will admit, though, that I absolutely hated pumping.

Yet, I know moms who had to exclusively pump due to work or tongue tie. I’ve heard stories of mothers who struggled to get their babies to latch properly and those who dealt with endless bouts of mastitis just to breastfeed for as long as possible.

4. lack of Sleep never felt like an issue

Majority of the time I got enough sleep. Sure the first two weeks were rough, but I had nothing to do, I didn’t have other children yet, I was on maternity leave, and I had that new mother adrenaline that keeps you going! After that I co-slept which meant I only needed to roll over aI could just roll over and let the baby nurse while I caught some Z’s. Plus I choose to work part time at restaurants and cleaning Airbnb’s in that two years (both late start times), so if I needed to sleep in until my baby work up (around 8am) I could.

Finding Balance in the Cahos

I’m not sharing this to imply that everyone’s journey should mirror mine.

I simply want to share my experience.

And there were struggles, I still remember nights putting the 1-2 year old to sleep felt like pulling teeth, or a frustrating phase I had to fully lay down for my baby to nurse….

But those challenges felt small in the scheme of things, because over all the way I mothered gave me so much more freedom and energy for doing other things I loved! And those things stick in my mind more than those annoying nights…

It’s not that we didn’t face difficulties; it’s just that we were having so much fun along the way that my memories are filled with lake days and movie nights, not sleepless nights, or toddler tantrums.

• I remember ordering french toast AND a BLAT at brunches with friends because I was so hungry after a tough night, but not much of the exhausting night itself.
• When I dealt with mastitis from pumping, my mind wanders back to those carefree moments of crossing the Brooklyn Bridge to grab beers with friends, rather than the time spent pumping in a bathroom.

My delivery wasn’t without pain, but I find myself reminiscing about the football game and the ice cream more than the discomfort and nausea.

Sometimes, being a great mom doesn’t mean you have to struggle through every moment.

And I honestly say this because, for the longest time I was too scared to share how “easy” motherhood was for me. I was scared to share because I feared people wouldn’t take me seriously, or would think I was doing something wrong…Or criticize me for being naive and un-relatab

In fact, I often thought I must be doing something wrong! for this to be this easy…

So if you are a mom having fun in motherhood right now, this is for you, recognize that you might not actually be doing it wrong!

It took me 2 year to actually publish this post, I started it when my toddler was 2 and she’s now almost 4…

But I am on a mission to show moms they don’t have to lose themselves to be a good mom.

So I share this because I want other moms to realize they don’t have to struggle or lose themselves in motherhood to be a good mom.

For the longest time I thought I HAD to to prove my worth though hardship, to actually qualify as coach for moms…

I felt I couldn’t earn my “good mom badge” until I had experienced the full affect of sleepless nights, crying, anger and a sense of lost identity and purpose… but another baby and a bunch of research and books later… plus a little confidence… I am final here to share my story fully!

I hope this gives you confidence to go out into the world and show them you are having a damn good time too!

I understand this “relatable motherhood” trend on social media… but I’ve had enough, lets start having fun again!