“I HATE POTTY TRAINING”

That was the entire text from a mama friend.
Then came the infamous typing bubble… and it just kept going.

Oh man… are you there too?

A Couple of Potty Training Tips from a Lazy, Type B, First-Time Mom

If you’re in the thick of it or just starting out, here are a few real-life potty training tips I’ve learned. These come from trial, error, and lots of accidents.

1. Go on a shopping Spree
2. 2. Don’t Bribe…I learned this one the hard way.
3. Don’t Shame…It’ll make the process longer
4. Be Prepared for lots of accidents
5. Finally, don’t ask, TELL

Go on a Shopping Spree – For Underwear They LOVE

Yes, take your toddler on a special shopping trip just for underwear. Let them pick ones they love—think characters, colors, anything exciting.

It sounds silly, but this made a big difference. My daughter was much more careful not to pee in her “princess underwear” than in any pants or—let’s be honest—on the carpet when she had no pants on at all.

This is a great first step to making potty training fun and approachable for you and your little one

Don’t Bribe…Trust me, I tried!

One of the most common potty training mistakes parents make is relying too heavily on rewards… And I made it too.

I started out giving leftover Halloween candy every time she sat on the potty. It didn’t work. She’d sit there just for the treat, with no intention of going. Sugar highs, tantrums, more accidents—it was a mess.

Later I learned that experts often recommend not using bribes during toddler potty training. It can backfire and even delay real progress, and isn’t good for child development and learning in general. So skip the candy (and the drama).

Don’t Shame…It’ll make the process longer

We all know this. We’ve read it, seen it on Instagram. But when you’re in the trenches and they pee on the floor for the third time after you just asked them to try, it’s hard not to lose it.

But shame doesn’t help. It makes the process longer and more emotional—for both of you.

I think there is a level to which you can be disappointed and remind them, that when you tell them to go on the potty, it is to prevent things like this happening.

But I have seen first hand, how damaging that shaming can be.

My toddler had an accident at a cousins house recently, she was walking out of the playroom, underwear half down, looking for something or someone… her cousin meanwhile, screaming about how gross it was, that she had peed on the floor etc etc… My toddler might have made it to the toilet to finish, but instead her face was full of shame and sorrow. You could tell she was a bit overwhelmed and preoccupied and all of a sudden unsure what to do next… It looked like she was about to cry… She pooped instead….

Later, she told her dad, “I tried, I just couldn’t make it.” She was trying—but the stress and embarrassment made it harder.

Many kids develop aversions to using the toilet if they’re shamed. Some start holding their poop or pee, which can lead to medical and emotional issues.

Later she told her dad, “I tried, and I just couldn’t make it”. I know she was walking towards us and pulling down her underwear because she knew she needed a toilet. But the overwhelmed and shame of the situation made everything harder. Many children can also develop problematic aversions to going to the bathroom and start holding their poop or pee which leads to many more medical and psychological problems.

the best way for us to encourage children in potty training, especially in a potty training set back, Is for us to remember they are still TRAINING. And we are their coach and mentor. We don’t want them to feel bad about it, or scared to mess up, we want to encourage them to learn and grow and built with every set back and “failure”.

Be Prepared for lots of accidents

Not only are they training, but we are too.

Like I mentioned above, I am a pretty lazy, type B mom, which means I often delay taking my daughter to the Potty, push it back longer than I should, or even forgetting entirely. It’s a transition for everyone.

I remember the first time going to the park and realizing there were no bathrooms. She told me she had to go, but there was little to nothing I could offer her, not even a bush. So she just peed her pants. And we went home.

With diapers you never really have to worry about where you are or for how long.

But you do when you are in the midst of potty training, it has to become a priority. Especially in the city where clean public toielts are scarse.

There was a moment where I felt Potty training was never going to be possible in the city. Either that, or we were going to have to start staying in a lot more… But a few weeks into things, I feel a lot more confident.

Here are my biggest three game-changing tips tips for potty training in the city, on the go, or while traveling that I wish I’d thought of sooner:

• Invest in a portable potty. Seriously.
• Cover your stroller and car seat with towels or changing pads.
• Go potty before you leave AND as soon as you arrive. This seems obvious, but it took me a while to make it a habit.

Finally, don’t ask, TELL

This one’s huge—and tough.

Don’t ask your toddler if they want to go potty. TELL them it’s time.

Break the habit of saying, “Do you have to go potty?” or “Want to try?” because the answer will almost always be a firm NO.

Then five minutes later? An accident.

Think of all the times you held it too long while binge-watching Netflix. Now imagine, compared to your 2 or 3 year old youve had 20-30 years of practice haha! They are just a couple months into it.

Final Thoughts

They say you can start potty training when your child begins to talk—and my toddler was chatting up a storm pretty early.
But the problem wasn’t her. It was me.

I just wasn’t ready for the limitations that come with potty training.

If you know me, you know my life—and my approach to motherhood—is all about freedom and adventure, even in my mama era. And potty training felt like it was going to totally mess with that. Always needing to be near a bathroom? Constantly planning around toilet breaks? No, thank you.

But here’s the truth: after a couple of weeks of practice (for both me and my baby), it really hasn’t been that bad.
I’ve learned where the bathrooms are, which stores and coffee shops are cool about letting us in, and I’ve accepted that we’re probably going through two outfits a day. 😅

Potty training your toddler doesn’t have to mean giving up your lifestyle—it just takes a little flexibility, humor, and grace.

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Your Turn!

Are you deep in the potty training trenches? Got a tip, a meltdown story, or a question?
Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear how it’s going for you!
Let’s normalize the mess, and help each other. 🚽💬💕

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