When our toddler is having a hard time–being extra clingy, throwing extra tantrums or whatever else toddlers do–WE are often having a hard. We can often jump to assume a “fun day out” to the aquarium or the park will solve all our problems. Burn some of their energy and distract them so they don’t need us so much. And honestly, sometimes it does help! But other times it doesn’t.
A child Psychologist Maslow created a hagiarchy of needs to describe children’s development. It begins with physiological needs, then moves up through, safety, bonding, esteem and finally self actualization (creativity, problem solving etc.). Often, when we are trying to solve these hard days for ourselves and our toddle, we skip everything in the middle of this hierarchy and jump straight to self actualization (the fun).
But maybe, it isn’t *Fun* your toddler needs, but more feelings of safety, or bonding, or more opportunity to build their self esteem, or even just a nap or a snack.
Which is why I always like to propose a coffee date!
Most moms might think a coffee date sounds like an even bigger headache, “why bring my already fussy toddler to a quiet cozy coffee shop?”, they might ask.
But I would argue, because it might be what YOU want.
When we look at child development, bringing them with you to any and all spaces, it boosts their sense of security, consistency and bonding. Babies and toddlers don’t understand the difference between adult work and adult fun–they just want to be a part of it. They want to learn, observe, and experience how you maneuver through the world.
And in these small moments, when the consistency of their primary guardian remains consistent despite the change or new environment, their sense of security increases and strengthens those parent-child bonds.
Furthermore, a happy mom is a more patient mom. A mom with a little coffee and a minute to enjoy herself is a less stimulated mom. And a more patient, less stimulated mom is usually a mom that can better understand, deal with, and manage the wild and ever growing emotions of a toddler, baby or child.
Furthermore, Many moms underestimate how quickly toddlers and kids can learn.
Toddlers are capable of adjusting their behavior to certain environments they can be with the right guidance and support. And while we do have to consider developmental limitations, it is often wildly misunderstood what toddlers are actually capable of.
It’s so ingrained in our society that we just believe it’s impossible to bring toddlers to certain spaces… like out to eat for a nice dinner… I used to think like that too! BUT its not entirely true! (read why I bring my baby everywhere)
I want you to feel empowered! Remind you that your toddler are capable! You are capable of taking your toddler, you just have to stay confident and show him the way. but most of all, try to ENJOY yourself. Babies fresh out of the womb can sense the vibe of a room, or you! (Isn’t that crazy)
And the truth is, it might take a bit of real work those first couple of times… But the payoff is incredible!
So, here’s my takeaway: Babies and toddlers simply want to be part of your world, learning from both you and their surroundings. So instead of stressing over baby ‘enriching environments,’ or trying to choose outing that will ensure “fun” for our toddler, lets choose something we love to share with them—meeting both our needs at once. Second, they’re more adaptable than we often realize, thriving in new settings as long as we can show them the way (read more in Why I Take My Baby Everywhere). And finally, let’s not forget—a happier parent makes for a happier baby. So go out and do something you enjoy, mama—it might be exactly what both you and your little one need.
Mama Lifestyle 