Do you ever wish your partner just KNEW what you needed without saying anything? ESPECIALLY post partum.
You try to send memes and reels to give a hint… but it only goes so far…
Well, I don’t have all the answers, and I’m definitely not the expert (in fact it took us about 1.5 years to really find our love for each other again) but I do have one suggestion.
Daily Check-Ins
First I want note, according to some neuroscientists,
Your relationship might be the single most important thing for babies future happiness and success.
Yet, 67% of couples feel marital dissatisfaction after the birth of a baby. So don’t worry, you are not alone.
The unequal work load, lack of sleep and decreased quality time all contribute to a disconnect between you and your partner.
So the expert suggestion? Twice Daily Check ins…
These twice-daily check-ins with your partner, help each other understand how the day is going.
By checking in once in the morning and once a bit later, you get an idea how the day has started and how the its going.
If your partner calls from work and learns that the baby woke up early, refused to go back to sleep, and has been exceptionally clingy, they might better grasp your short temper and exhaustion when they return home.
Similarly, if you hear a voice message that your partner almost missed a meeting due to a traffic accident and then had to handle two extra projects and a broken coffee machine, you’ll likely empathize with their overwhelm when they return home.
Unlike the love for your child, love for your partner takes work.
Before the baby, my baby daddy and I used to spend hours on the phone while he was at work (he works with his hands so is free to talk on his headphones). But once the baby was here, it would just be a couple reels we sent each other.
What we really needed to do was a little check in, a “how are you feeling, how has your day started check-in”.
And I’m not going to lie, while I knew this, I actually didn’t act on it until recently. And it came in a slightly different form…
My partner said “you don’t love me anymore” half joking, but what he meant was you don’t take the time anymore.
And it was true, I wasn’t taking the time to call, I wasn’t even curious to be honest. I was so involved in my own life I wasn’t curious about how he was doing. But I had to remind myself he IS part of my life now..
So now whenever I am walking to the store, or waiting for our bus, or have a quick minute before starting on work I give him a call. Though I don’t think of them as specific check-ins, the calls are always nice, and in really do serve as a little “update”.
This little tip, will not get you all the way there, but it is a very good place to start!
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. In our Mama Lifestyle Lab group coaching program, we dedicate an entire unit to strengthening relationships amidst the beautiful chaos of new motherhood.
If you’re seeking deeper guidance and a community that understands, we’re here to support you! Check out Mama lifestyle Lab to learn more about the program and how we help.
P.S. I promise we keep things fun and engaging. Its not your typical “coaching course”.
Mama Lifestyle 